ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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