Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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