She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
