your thong is hanging out like whoa
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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