they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
