South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
