it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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