is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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