you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
