I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize