Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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