I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
