I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
