What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
