You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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