so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh god it's open bar.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
