it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
