my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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