we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
