do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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