Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
