WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
