Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
