So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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