Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
