So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
