I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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