Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
