I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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