We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Holy sore nipples Batman
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
