I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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