Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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