I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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