you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
