Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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