brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
