I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
