Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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