You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
