We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
