she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
