Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
