Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
