It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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