before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
