i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize