After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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