He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
