So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
