Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
