I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
