That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
