dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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