my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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