I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
