If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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