so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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