he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
