she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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