I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
