i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
