2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
