is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
