Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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