So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just want nice things and good sex
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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