I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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