Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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