Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And then my night got REAL pukey
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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