I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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