and she was petting her beer can
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
