i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
